My first short story - The Daughter Of The Fae

[The Relic]

So this is my first short story so I hope you like it!

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The Daughter Of The Fae

In the times before the rifts even bore down into Telara and its precious
balance there was a baby high elf called Cassandra. She was an especially
pretty high elf with a laurel of leaves surrounding her golden blonde hair.
Her parents Lessaria and Kaneth prized her as if they were her sworn
guardians and all of Argent Glade smiled upon her. She was going to live
the life of a normal high elf until one dark night a satyr trotted into town.
When he made it to the dwelling of the little high elf he roared with a
chaotic amount of courage, alerting Lessaria and Kaneth causing them to race outside.
As they turned away from their daughter a strange spell fell over than as fae magic
swirled around them. They felt tired, so tired that they slumped to the cold hard ground
in a deep sleep. Once it had happened a small faerie poked her head out of a cabinet and
giggled like a devious child. Then others of her own kind floated into the room and carried
Cassandra out of Argent Glade. As they made for the gates to the realm of life her parents
were awoken. They looked confused for a moment and agreed that the satyr was a dream
but they were going to come to the harsh and bitter realisation as they walked inside that
their cherished daughter had been kidnapped. In the years that followed her parents were
distraught as they looked tirelessly for their beloved kin to no avail. Meanwhile Cassandra
was raised according to the ways of the fae by one of the elder greater faeries and she slowly
grew to love the realm of life as if it was her home. She made friends, learned and made her way
through her life as if it was a normal life. On one bright summers morning as it was on all days
in the summer terrace news came from a lesser satyr that war had been declared upon the people
of Telara and Cassandra along with her friends came down from a life rift and made their way through
Silverwood to Argent Glade. Along the way she met Lessaria and Kaneth who were now an elderly couple.
Not realising that they were her parents she held a mace to Kaneth's neck and said "Halt! Bow down before
Twyll and my faerie kin or bow down to death itself!" Kaneth in a fixed trance of fear bowed down and grovelled at her feet but Lessaria had already realised. "Cassandra my chick..." she uttered, "Your alive..."
The sight of her mother brought Cassandra to a sudden realisation. "Mother..." she gasped in amazement, "It's really you..." Upon that morning war had been started and ended as the Daughter Of Silverwood was also the Daughter Of The Fae.

So what do you think for a first try?

[The Relic]

anyone??? Is my story OK?

[Kantazo]

The first thing you need to do is to split the wall of text into paragraphs so people can read it. Believe me 95% of the players will not read walls of text.

[Stormvet]

I would interject some elements of her becoming demonically possessed then attacking people with gourds of varying type and levels of freshness. Then she buys a bag of magic sunflower seeds and "poof* the evil spirits leave, which prompts a celebratory tea party with imaginary griffons who she chides for lifting a leg on the tea service, which her grandmother gave her.

She plants one of the magic sunflower seeds which grows up to be a strong sunflower plant, but because these are magic seeds, when the sunflower blooms it is actually a minature sun which burns the surrounding farms. Angered by the hellfire vandalsim the community comes together, brands her a witch, then burns her at the stake.