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Thread: Guide to l33t PvP. How the pro's do it.

  1. #1
    Plane Touched Noctrin's Avatar
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    Default Guide to l33t PvP. How the pro's do it.

    Aii, listen. You are a n00b and wanna be p120 (that's pro in l33t, take notes). This guide, will turn the average care-bear n00b into a full fledged pvp ROLFSTOMPER. Get ready.

    You just rolled on your first PvP server, you're lvl 1 and are thinking "Damn, i need to rolfstomp some n00bs". Hold on there young buck! The art of ROLFSTOMPING, in it's pure essence has nothing to do with the game. It's all in the mind. "But noctrin, what do i need to do with the mind?!" Well, read on! Beating people with your mind equates to beating them in game, it's all math.

    Step 1: l33t initiation

    Go to your nearest local forum, find any thread related to pvp (bonus points if it's an intellectual conversation), find any person with an opinion, quote and point out that they're an idiot in the following way: "ROFL, idiot". Even if you have no idea what the thread is about or what the opinion states, when you call someone an idiot, it shows you're better. True story.

    Good! You're becoming more l33t already.
    You're pwning mobs like a champ (which are weak sauce btw) and are now lvl 11! You wanna queue up for a BG and start making n00bs cry!

    Step 2: BG 101

    While in a bg, the purpose is to be l33t, who cares if your team wins! If they do it's cause of you, if they lose it's cause they suck. Simple and makes perfect sense. First thing you need to do is look at what everyone is trying to do, since you're l33t and you know better you should do the opposite and make sure you let them know they suck every 2 min. If you do, they'll know you're better. If by any chance your plan coincides with theirs, you fail at being one step ahead so instantly do something else. If you're a healer, nuke, if you're dps, run around and attack the raid alone, if you're a tank, take off your armor and start healing people.

    Awesome!

    Now go on the forums and keep track of every class that killed you. They need a nerf.

    Everyone probably knows you by now and they're scared of you, they know you're super awesome and feel threatened. That's why people avoid you and tell you to f**k off when you wanna join their group/guild. It's okay, they suck and you should not relate to them. They're probably care-bears anyway: true pvpers roll alone.

    After all the work and all the training(pwning), you reached the coveted lvl cap! Congrats, the fun begins now. In order to assert your dominance, you should start pwning some n00bs. How you ask?

    Step3: Pwning

    Now that you're 50, it's time to roll with the big boys, every l33t PvPer knows you gotta fight the l33t to be the l33t. Getting your arse kicked is not an option. Proceed to your nearest location that satisfies the following formula:

    (your lvl/2) - 5 should be the average lvl of the people around. Let the ROFLSTOMP begin!

    If by any chance someone within your level comes and by some weird luck or class imbalance owns you, make sure you call them out on the forums! They clearly cheated and couldn't take you on so they came with,( actual#*4 )+2 friends. It was BS, but you almost won anyway. Emphasis on the last part.

    Well then young PKer, you're set to go and assert your dominance! Keep in mind the lessons and never stray from the path.

    Edit

    Almost sad i have to write this. I'm simply enforcing a stupid stereotype, it's not a guide and if you read this far thinking it is. You just wasted 5 min of your life and you'll never get it back.
    If you're pissed because you fit the stereotype, flame away. You prove my point
    Last edited by Noctrin; 02-11-2011 at 04:36 PM.

  2. #2
    Ascendant Xvvt's Avatar
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    It is actually fairly sad that you posted that thinking it was funny.

  3. #3
    Rift Chaser Riven's Avatar
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    I honestly did not learn anything expect that you like to type ****** internet slag trying to be cool.
    Looking for a Hardcore PvP / PvE Gaurd Guild - EST

    Send me a PM!

  4. #4
    Plane Touched
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    Quote Originally Posted by riven View Post
    i honestly did not learn anything expect that you like to type ****** internet slag trying to be cool.
    noob alert

  5. #5
    Telaran
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    ur mom let you stay up past ur bedtime to type this?

  6. #6
    Soulwalker
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    i thought it was funny =)

    ROFL, idiot!

  7. #7
    Ascendant Nalano's Avatar
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    Interesting.

    Do you have a newsletter?

    I need something to line my birdcage.
    Nalano H. Wildmoon
    Sergeant Major of the Fourth Forward Troll Division
    Attorney at Lawl
    "The pornos lied. They told me it tasted like honey." - Paradoxus

  8. #8
    Soulwalker
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riven View Post
    I honestly did not learn anything expect that you like to type ****** internet slag trying to be cool.
    ROFL, idiot!

  9. #9
    Telaran
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  10. #10
    General of Telara Tugrath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noctrin View Post

    (your lvl/2) - 5 should be the average lvl of the people around. Let the ROFLSTOMP begin!
    Don't forget to fraps these encounters to make a rockin youtube video of how awesome you are.

  11. #11
    Rift Master
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    I am a high end PvP player. I found this amusing ... it made me laugh^^

    ROFL

    ... idiot...

  12. #12
    Soulwalker
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    Absolutely halarious. Sadly true though.

  13. #13
    Ascendant GoldenTiger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Noctrin View Post
    Aii, listen. You are a n00b and wanna be p120 (that's pro in l33t, take notes). This guide, will turn the average care-bear n00b into a full fledged pvp ROLFSTOMPER. Get ready.

    You just rolled on your first PvP server, you're lvl 1 and are thinking "Damn, i need to rolfstomp some n00bs". Hold on there young buck! The art of ROLFSTOMPING, in it's pure essence has nothing to do with the game. It's all in the mind. "But noctrin, what do i need to do with the mind?!" Well, read on! Beating people with your mind equates to beating them in game, it's all math.

    Step 1: l33t initiation

    Go to your nearest local forum, find any thread related to pvp (bonus points if it's an intellectual conversation), find any person with an opinion, quote and point out that they're an idiot in the following way: "ROFL, idiot". Even if you have no idea what the thread is about or what the opinion states, when you call someone an idiot, it shows you're better. True story.

    Good! You're becoming more l33t already.
    You're pwning mobs like a champ (which are weak sauce btw) and are now lvl 11! You wanna queue up for a BG and start making n00bs cry!

    Step 2: BG 101

    While in a bg, the purpose is to be l33t, who cares if your team wins! If they do it's cause of you, if they lose it's cause they suck. Simple and makes perfect sense. First thing you need to do is look at what everyone is trying to do, since you're l33t and you know better you should do the opposite and make sure you let them know they suck every 2 min. If you do, they'll know you're better. If by any chance your plan coincides with theirs, you fail at being one step ahead so instantly do something else. If you're a healer, nuke, if you're dps, run around and attack the raid alone, if you're a tank, take off your armor and start healing people.

    Awesome!

    Now go on the forums and keep track of every class that killed you. They need a nerf.

    Everyone probably knows you by now and they're scared of you, they know you're super awesome and feel threatened. That's why people avoid you and tell you to f**k off when you wanna join their group/guild. It's okay, they suck and you should not relate to them. They're probably care-bears anyway: true pvpers roll alone.

    After all the work and all the training(pwning), you reached the coveted lvl cap! Congrats, the fun begins now. In order to assert your dominance, you should start pwning some n00bs. How you ask?

    Step3: Pwning

    Now that you're 50, it's time to roll with the big boys, every l33t PvPer knows you gotta fight the l33t to be the l33t. Getting your arse kicked is not an option. Proceed to your nearest location that satisfies the following formula:

    (your lvl/2) - 5 should be the average lvl of the people around. Let the ROFLSTOMP begin!

    If by any chance someone within your level comes and by some weird luck or class imbalance owns you, make sure you call them out on the forums! They clearly cheated and couldn't take you on so they came with,( actual#*4 )+2 friends. It was BS, but you almost won anyway. Emphasis on the last part.

    Well then young PKer, you're set to go and assert your dominance! Keep in mind the lessons and never stray from the path.
    I thought it was funny.
    Rig: 256gb SSD, i7 2600K quad-core (w/ HT, 4400mhz), GTX 670 Gigabyte OC WindForce @ 1354core/6510mem, 2560x1600 (Dell 3007wfp-hc S-IPS LCD monitor 30"), 16GB DDR3.
    Double the pixels of a 1920x1200 monitor = yummy graphics! I do love my eye candy...
    GSB, RoS conqueror, DH, GP cleared, 10/11 HK + P3 Akylios pre-nerf, Mage of Wolfsbane

  14. #14
    Champion of Telara HopeIsDead's Avatar
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    I approve this message
    This universe is lost, I seek only Oblivion
    There is no peace for the Damned
    with Eternal war raging across the land
    We may be immortal
    but nothing than suffering awaits us

  15. #15
    Prophet of Telara Banthaz's Avatar
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    It's funny because it's true.

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