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Thread: Girl trouble.

  1. #61
    Rift Chaser Seefer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by badlandskid View Post
    WAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY wrong answer. Women are attracted to confidence. If you don’t have that, well then you will never zone out of “Friendship”. If you “open up” and spill your guts then she is going to see you as just another GF. Buddy, you don't need that.

    You need to live your life the way you want to live it, walk with your shoulders back and head high. Given time you will attract the right type of woman. Above all, act with honor. Never steal what belongs to another person. If he is that big of a loser eventually she will bail. Why? Cuz big ego is just another way of saying “I have no confidence!”
    It's takes more guts to say how you feel then to hold everything in.

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  2. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seefer View Post
    It's takes more guts to say how you feel then to hold everything in.
    It takes more intestinal fortitude to have a calm face while weathering a storm. If you go looking for a shoulder to cry on, then that will define the parameters of your relationship. If you want to take it to the next "zone" then you need to take the lead and redefine the zone boundaries. This whole touchie feely crap gets guys banned to the friendship zone.

  3. #63
    Soulwalker Hanni's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dinhosaur View Post
    Also for the people saying men and women can't be friends... that's obviously a terrible generalization.

    I have tons of female friends... i've helped them get outta terrible relationships and also helped them find great relationships.

    It's good to have friends of the opposite gender because you can bounce ideas off of each other and get a different perspective (men and women are wired differently, they do bring different points of view)

    Just because someone is a male and someone is a female doesn't mean there automatically has to be sexual tension. People have varying degrees of compatibility and incompatibility...
    In my experience, "just friends" turn into "boy friends" with one beer too many.... if you're already emotionally close, and discussing relationships, that's already a step in that direction. It's not too far off the "wife doesn't understand me" complaint that fires up extra-marital affairs.

    It will only be more intense when you're working together.

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hanni View Post
    In my experience, "just friends" turn into "boy friends" with one beer too many.... if you're already emotionally close, and discussing relationships, that's already a step in that direction. It's not too far off the "wife doesn't understand me" complaint that fires up extra-marital affairs.

    It will only be more intense when you're working together.
    That all depends on the person. I see people for people... i don't generalize them based on their gender or sexual orientation or skin color or anything like that.

    Not all guys see every female as a piece of meat ;P
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  5. #65
    Rift Disciple Bumleach's Avatar
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    No no no no

    DUDE NEVER ever and i mean EVER go for a mates GF/Missus.. Its not right, And if u do ur the ******* for doing it, Would u like it done to u? Even if he's a **** i wouldnt g there.

    There are many more chickie babes out there, Go find your own

    Even if they break up, just don't!!
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  6. #66
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    First of all women and men can be friends, I have more guy friends then girl friends. I had my best friend, who is a male be in my wedding on the Bride's side. I NEVER think of my guy friends in a sexual way, I'm no longer a hormone crazed teen.

    I really hate men who feel as though women cannot hang out with guys and be friends, if your that insecure about a woman having a male friend there your nothing but a self involved non trusting a'hole. I broke up with a guy because he refused to let me have male friends. I'm a grown woman and can have which friend's I want to have, thank goodness I'm married to a man who understands that I get along better with males then females.

    Getting back on topic, this is a weird situation your in, dating someone at your work, well never works out. IF this girl is being treated poorly by your friend, you cannot involve yourself in that unless she asks for advice or breaks-up with him.

    I think its best to express your feelings towards her and let her make the choice, all its going to do is eat you up inside. IF you loose your friend over being honest, too bad, friend's can be replaced but a chance at a long healthy relationship can't.

  7. #67
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    I know young people really hate to hear this, but you are only 19. You are not going to marry a chick you meet when you are 19. She may be super important now, but trust me, in 5 years she will just be some chick you used to know when you were a kid. You will not be missing out on anything special if you play it cool and don't "go for it".

    For every couple that meets at 19 and actually stays happy until they die, there are 1000s of couples that hate each other by the time they are 25. Any 19 year old couple that stays together forever is the exception, not the rule. You are not going to be the exception. People change so much in their early 20s that couples always, and I mean always, end up growing apart before that age range.

    So just have fun. If you guys hook up, great. If Nick hates you, who cares? Chances are you won't be talking to him in 5 years anyways.

    You will meet your wife when you are in your mid 20s. All this crap now is just practice for that relationship.
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  8. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nightfall View Post
    Ok son, listen and listen good....

    MEN AND WOMEN CAN NOT< REPEAT< NOT BE FRIENDS. THE SEX THING ALWAYS GETS IN THE WAY.

    Any guy that allows his woman to hang with guys is a moron, because again, the guys only want one thing..../shrug

    And as far as chicks go, THEY WILL NEVER AGREE MEN AND WOMEN CANT BE FRIENDS. They cant see the truth for what it is, that their "friend" wants to bang them. So asking a chick about this results in nothing but skewed logic...

    Find your own gf and leave them alone.....
    Really? That's odd. Most of my friends are male, because I am a gamer and not into the usual stereotypes of women's stuff - makeup, clothes, shoes, etc.

    I'd rather have a computer and dice, thanks so much. And for the record, I am married.

    I would think its best to express your feelings towards her and let her make the choice.You need to get it in the open. . IF you lose your friend over being honest, do you think its better to sneak around behind his back? That's not the kind of friend I would have...
    where Kitsune walk, chaos ensues....

  9. #69
    RIFT Community Ambassador the_real_seebs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nightfall View Post
    MEN AND WOMEN CAN NOT< REPEAT< NOT BE FRIENDS.
    Bull.

    This is purely a cultural thing. Some cultures have this problem, others don't. I used to hang out with an opposite-sex coworker, we carpooled, and so on. One of our coworkers was totally amazed by this, because in his usual circles, that could never happen. And no, we didn't date or anything; I was already married, and I was the best man at her wedding ('cuz I was also friends with her spouse).

    Whether men and women can stay just-friends depends a lot on the specific men and women. Sex is not necessarily going to get in the way; it depends a lot on the people.

  10. #70
    RIFT Community Ambassador the_real_seebs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Riler View Post
    I know young people really hate to hear this, but you are only 19. You are not going to marry a chick you meet when you are 19.
    Probably not

    Any 19 year old couple that stays together forever is the exception, not the rule.
    That's true at any age.

    You are not going to be the exception. People change so much in their early 20s that couples always, and I mean always, end up growing apart before that age range.
    Well, "always" in this case is "not always".

    FWIW, I met my spouse in 7th grade, made up my mind then, we ended up actually getting married when we were... uhm, 21 or 22. Don't remember anymore.

  11. #71
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    I would have to say have a nice lil chat with her and state your feeling toward her and with luck she will have the same for you. If not ehh well plenty more fish in the sea.

    As for your ''friend'' Nick he is sounds like he is very very insecure and i really wouldn't even consider someone like that a friend if they are being so petty as to act fine when your around and then turn around and talk about you and do crap behind your back so to speak. Besides worse case scenario is you don't get the girl and all your friends leave you. At your age that really isn't that big a deal considering in a few years you likely won't ever see them again and as i also stated earlier still plenty fish in the sea if you don't get that one.


    Simply put my advice is take the chance. Make a move on her. Really no matter if it goes bad the backlash so to speak won't have any real lasting effect. If things go well though you might end up with a great girl and possibly future wife. Or she could turn out to be unfaithful and move to someone else. Nothing is certain but taking a chance and doing something is better than sitting back and wanting to do something but never going and doing it.

    Anyways that is my advice as with any advice or opinions that people give its up to you to decide to heed it, ignore it, or to make what you will of it.

  12. #72
    Ascendant -Naosyth-'s Avatar
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    Take the easy way out. Go to a grocery store, stock up on food, and go play an MMO for a few years and never answer anybody from the outside world.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wat View Post
    When a flat-chested girl hugs you, she holds you closer to her heart.
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    I have a bottle right next to me but if attractive women looked like that I might as well be gay.

  13. #73
    Ascendant -Naosyth-'s Avatar
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    My grandpa told me that you should bang her
    Quote Originally Posted by Wat View Post
    When a flat-chested girl hugs you, she holds you closer to her heart.
    Quote Originally Posted by Xlugon Pyro View Post
    I have a bottle right next to me but if attractive women looked like that I might as well be gay.

  14. #74
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    I suggest you do what others have said, try to be a friend and help the guy treat her better, if the relationship fails anyway, then invite her over for some movies and see how it goes, but make sure you are friends to both and try to make their relationship work by making him learn to be a better guy and treat his girlfriend with respect.

    If you just go in and sweep her off her feet like alot of guys do when they know they can, you will be a total jerk and you need to think, if you could steal her away from one guy, what makes you think, another guy couldn't do the same to you?

  15. #75
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    Sounds like "Nick" is a ****.
    So why even want to hang out with him.
    You live only once, so live life to the max.
    You like her? make sure you spend time with her.
    You will find out if anything will or is gonna happen between you two.

    Just go for it!

    Dont do the feeling crap talk ... make sure you have fun with her and make her laugh.
    Way much better then the emo feeling crap.
    Last edited by Struikrover; 02-08-2011 at 05:58 AM.

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