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Thread: Why I Hated Oblivion

  1. #1
    Plane Touched
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    Default Why I Hated Oblivion

    If you look here or here you'd assume Oblivion was one of the best games ever made. If you were one of the chosen few, like myself, that thought the game was absolutely horrible you were criticized, mocked and routinely crapped all over because ripping apart Oblivion in the gaming community is like bulldozing a Golden Corral down the street from a fat suburban neighborhood. But here's the thing: I don't care. Let's get into it.

    Scaling Opponents
    Assume that you're a young, ambitious peasant with a taste for gore and glory. One day you receive word of a reward to anyone strong enough to slay a mighty ogre in a cave near town. You trade some old meat for a makeshift dagger and wait for nightfall. That's when you decide to strike. After stumbling through the dark for what seems like days, you finally find a dimly lit entrance to a murky cave. And sure enough, you hear a hulking ogre snoring from deep within. Entering the cave, you grip your dagger with adrenaline pumping through your veins and a heart pounding in your chest. You approach the beast in silence, but eventually trip on something and fall face first into the Ogre's crotch. He roars awake and turns you into a meat puppet as he cracks every bone in your stupid body and wears your skin as a hat. Because you suck. The only monster you've fought is crippling depression and you're approaching a seven hundred pound murderer with a prison shiv and some sandals. What the hell were you thinking?

    Fast forward about ten years later. As you sit on your throne made from children's bones counting your money, you realize at some point in your murderous domination of the entire realm you lost the catalyst that triggered your desire to become the greatest champion in the realm: that god damn Ogre.

    You throw your Fire Sword of Fire +3 on your back and cover yourself in armor made out of the gods' seed. That ogre is dead. The only thing you think about while you're riding a f'ing dragon to the cave is the delightful number of ways you can kill him. Once you arrive, you barrel through the entrance just warcrying your god damn lungs out. Then you trip, fall into the Ogre's crotch, and proceed to have your blood paint his walls. Again.

    Because that's what happens in Oblivion. The Ogre got exactly the same training, strength, and equipment you did at the exact same time, so nothing really changed at all, and all that you've accomplished now feels like a total waste of time. You're still the Ogre's girlfriend even if you possess a shield that absorbs a nuclear missile. Monster scaling is total epic bull ****.

    Accidental Thievery
    That Ogre really ruined your day. Your self esteem smells like scotch and dying alone at this point seems like a distinct probability. You stumble back to town after being resurrected by an Angel of Load Game and decide the best course of action is to repair your equipment, get something brutally alcoholic and take a nap for a few years.

    You finally find an armorsmith after navigating the needlessly complicated and strangely designed city. You approach the man at the anvil and instead of greeting him, you stare blankly into his eyes as you pocket a picture of his kids and a tiny ceramic bowl. Woops! You're not sure why that happened exactly, but as you attempt to assure him it was an accident because seriously, why the hell would you steal those things let alone right in front of him - when he buries an axe in your temple and screams for guards to come. And they do. All of them. You flee the town terrified and confused, and you don't stop running until you reach yet another town. With more guards. That know what you did five miles away. You pay a hefty fine and spend the next four hours nursing a bottle of rubbing alcohol and wondering what in the hell just happened.

    Exploring Realism
    You wake up the next day covered in puke and defeat. You slowly rise to your feet and try desperately to stabilize yourself. The room eventually stops quivering under your heels and you examine yourself in the mirror. You say "self, we need to get our **** together. We'll never get through this if we don't find better equipment, learn a few spells, and stock up on supplies for the long road ahead. We'll need to train hard if we're ever going to defeat the Ogre. Perhaps being versatile is more important than being well equipped." Then you throw up again.

    As you leave your room at the Inn you realize you have no idea where to learn spells, train, or stock up on supplies. This town is new to you and you've only been here one drunken night. But that's ok, you'll simply ask. It's the real world, after all. Someone has to know!

    You see a city guard patrolling the streets and ask him, as any normal human would, where you can learn some new spells. He tells you there's a magic merchant in the Northwest corner of the Mage's Fourth Guild Tower. Wait - what? You repeat the question, reminding him that your map is somewhat confusing and you're new here. He smiles, then suggests the exact same thing. As you stare into his dead, soulless eyes you decide to head in the general direction and get away from him as fast as possible. You manage to take four teleporters, six sets of stairs, and find the guy that sells scrolls. You ask the merchant what he has, and he shows you. Unfortunately the scrolls are not the ones you need so you ask if he knows where you can find the scroll of Cure Herpes. But he just shows you his supplies again and ignores your request.

    You start to realize it's almost as if everyone in the town is not a real person at all, but a severely limited script written just detailed enough to be confusing and mildly accommodating. A town of mindless zombies with one catch phrase and random inventories. No one really helps you find anything. Dialog is limited to single statements and obscure references. It's as if in a town that appears to have depth realism, it's nothing more than a hallow, inconvenient labyrinth of clones.

    That's when you decide instead to venture out! The hell with them! Explore the world! After hours of wandering aimlessly and encounter two bears, a spider, a statue, and an underground labyrinth slightly less confusing than the town you came from, you sit down, cry a little, and throw up again.

    Combat

    You wake up in the forest, dazed and famished. You reach into your pocket for a stale bread roll when you hear from behind you "I've fought mudcrabs more fierce than you!" You jump to your feet and raise your shield. The blow collides and the reverberation almost makes you drop it. You reach for your sword and swing violently in his direction. He backs up a bit and you miss. You swing again and miss. He approaches you and you swing again and hit. Then he hits you. Then you block again. And then you realize, at some point during this exchange that after ten years you're still absolutely terrible at fighting people. All you can seem to do is swing, and swing a little harder. When he finally dies instead of an explosion of red mist he collapses and rolls down the hill like a ragdoll, bouncing and twitching until he finally gets stuck on a branch and convulses just long enough to make sure you never sleep again.

    It comes to your attention that the Ogre finished you off a long time ago, and this is actually Hell.

    Conclusion

    I could go on, but one thing should be clear regardless: I hate Oblivion. I always have and I always will. The game attempted to be something it couldn't achieve, and while some honor that with praise, I recognize it for what it was: a shell of a world with a blatantly obvious artificiality. I hate Bethesda, too, while we're on it, but I'm totally going to buy Skyrim on Friday.

    Because I hate myself.
    Last edited by Homebrew; 11-07-2011 at 12:46 PM.

  2. #2
    RIFT Community Ambassador the_real_seebs's Avatar
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    I never got nearly that far, though I share the concern about monster scaling.

    For me, it's one simple thing: To me, the soul of an RPG is that I dictate choices to a character, and the character implements them based on skills, statistics, and so on. That is what makes the game an RPG. An game in which this is not the case is, to me, not an RPG.

    And in Oblivion, if I tell my character to shoot at something, he shoots under it. Because, see, you can't tell the character "shoot at the orc". You can only tell him "aim the bow here and let gravity work its magic".

    And that, to me, breaks the immersion completely and totally, and it's not an RPG anymore. It's some kind of combat sim, and while I can enjoy those as their own kind of game, they aren't what I mostly like to play. I want a game where I say "shoot that orc", and the respective stats of the character, orc, weapons, and armor, are the sole determinants of what happens. Not my personal ability to gauge distances and gravity.
    You can play WoW in any MMO. You don't have to play WoW in RIFT. Oh, and no, RIFT is not a WoW clone. Not having fun any more? Learn to play, noob! I don't speak for Riftui, but I moderate stuff there. Just came back? Welcome back! Here's what's changed. (Updated for 2.5!)

  3. #3
    Ascendant
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    A lot of enemies in Oblivion certainly did not scale, such as Umbra. If you wanted to kill Umbra at lvl 1, you had to lower the difficulty slider all the way down. Enemies did not scale with your gear, either, like you suggest.

    As for NPCs not offering much in terms of conversation, I'm not sure what you suggest. It's the same thing for any type of RPG; npcs will have limited conversation options, and will always offer one of a handful of responses. If you have a groundbreaking solution to this, I'd like to hear it.

    In the category of RPGs in the real world Oblivion is easily near the top.
    Last edited by Ahov; 11-07-2011 at 01:07 PM.

  4. #4
    Ascendant Credo's Avatar
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    I enjoyed the scaling as it made the game always difficult. Why the hell do I want to one hit mudcrabs? As for combat I don't know what to tell you, I never had problems with it.
    Whenever I accidentally stole something I paid the fee to the guards and went about my business.

    Not trying to flame, but sounds like you sucked at the game and you're blaming the game.
    Even free cost too much now

  5. #5
    RIFT Community Ambassador the_real_seebs's Avatar
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    It's not that I think the game sucks, it's that it is not the kind of game I like in RPGs. I like games where I pick a target and an attack, and whether the target is hit or not is resolved by stats and possibly die rolls, not by how accurately I clicked.
    You can play WoW in any MMO. You don't have to play WoW in RIFT. Oh, and no, RIFT is not a WoW clone. Not having fun any more? Learn to play, noob! I don't speak for Riftui, but I moderate stuff there. Just came back? Welcome back! Here's what's changed. (Updated for 2.5!)

  6. #6
    Ascendant Credo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the_real_seebs View Post
    It's not that I think the game sucks, it's that it is not the kind of game I like in RPGs. I like games where I pick a target and an attack, and whether the target is hit or not is resolved by stats and possibly die rolls, not by how accurately I clicked.
    I enjoy that style as well. They both have their pros and cons, but to each their own at the end of the day.
    Even free cost too much now

  7. #7
    Plane Touched NzFox's Avatar
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    I liked the world, and the idea...what I did not like was the "ok your out of the dungon ..JUMP around the world to level up!!...or better yet...do NOT pick the main skills you want to use as your tagged skills". Fallout 3 was a far superior leveling system

  8. #8
    aux
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    Daggerfall was one of the first RPGs I ever played and it had the same level scaling so it was sort of natural to me, heh.
    I didn't like Morrowind much, but I loved Daggerfall and Oblivion. No wasting time on "low level" stuff, or running into content that's too high level... everything matches yours I think it's great. But to each his own!
    I'm so BORED

  9. #9
    Plane Touched Ravenevar's Avatar
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    <3 oblivion. I spent countless hours in that game. And I will do the same with my Skyrim CE on Friday

  10. #10
    Plane Touched Libertine's Avatar
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    I never cared for the game, I didn't like the twitch combat and I found it odd that you had an orc living next to a rat person living next to an elf in a human town.
    I live my life with bold enthusiasm tempered by the hope that when I die it won't be reported in News of the Weird or the Darwin Awards.

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  11. #11
    Champion of Telara Whytwulf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ravenevar View Post
    And I will do the same with my Skyrim CE on Friday
    You and me both. Rift will be a distant memory until I finish with Skyrim.

    Pre-order queued up and waiting to be picked up Friday morning. ;-)
    Last edited by Whytwulf; 11-07-2011 at 07:23 PM.
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  12. #12
    Shadowlander
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    I loved Oblivion, a couple of mods to sort it out and it is one of the best games of all time in my books. Graphics at the time were a massive step forward too. I have Skyrim pre-ordered and can't wait.

  13. #13
    Prophet of Telara Lande's Avatar
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    Oblivion was basically the console version of Elder Scrolls that got ported to the PC.

  14. #14
    Shadowlander
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    I don't think Oblivion was a console port, considering at release it was praised as the most impressive graphical achievement with its PC version having a massive ammount of grapical options customisation and use of DX9 effects, it pushed computers to their limits and set a standard. So even if it was a console port, you cannot take away from what it was, the best looking game on the market at the time and one that with mods still looks great today.

    Skyrim graphically will be awesome. I heard the same nonsense about Crysis 2 and Battlefield 3 and those games are absolutely amazing graphically, Crysis 2 with DX11 and High Texture pack is probably the benchmark holder right now for the best looking game. Crysis 2 at launch had a lot of antifanboys/fanboys crying that it was a console port, even after developers specifically said that it was not.

    Ultimately I dont think it matters, console ports can look amazing and function great (F1 2011, Dirt 3 for example), because not all games are just dumped over from the consoles (some are), especially not AAA games.
    Last edited by Bigbazz; 11-07-2011 at 10:40 PM.

  15. #15
    RIFT Community Ambassador the_real_seebs's Avatar
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    If memory serves, wasn't Oblivion the first game using the graphics engine now in use in Rift?

    ... hmm. According to Wikipedia, Morrowind also used "Gamebryo", so maybe not.
    You can play WoW in any MMO. You don't have to play WoW in RIFT. Oh, and no, RIFT is not a WoW clone. Not having fun any more? Learn to play, noob! I don't speak for Riftui, but I moderate stuff there. Just came back? Welcome back! Here's what's changed. (Updated for 2.5!)

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