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Thread: How to deal with family estrangement

  1. #1
    Prophet of Telara Neo Omni's Avatar
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    Aug 2011

    Default How to deal with family estrangement


    How to mend a rift (no not the Telara kind)

    Family members are ready to reconcile when the desire to reconnect begins to outweigh the hurt and anger — which can take time. Reconciliation can be spontaneous and is often brought about by a birth, death, illness or other major life event. Laura Davis, the author of I Thought We’d Never Speak Again, recommends starting small, keeping your initial expectations low and preparing yourself for setbacks. Your best bet is to begin by getting together under circumstances that don’t require you to unpack all of your issues in an immediate heart-to-heart.

    If you’re the one caught in the middle, Davis suggests trying to maintain contact with all estranged parties and avoiding taking sides. If you can keep a cool head, you might even try to broker some peace. “Someone with extremely good boundaries and excellent communication skills can sometimes be a go-between or a mediator but only if both parties are willing to take steps toward each other.”
    People swear by "family" as the greatest thing since cake. I'm no stranger to this topic but my approach is a bit different. One day I took a good look at the loser family that I came from and I asked myself this question: if I were not related to these people would I bother associating with them?

    My answer was: NO.

    So I saw no reason to do so just because I am related to them...and its proved to be a much happier existence. Next time you pass a stranger on the street remember that fundamentally we are all related in one manner or another. Don't let the troublesome near-relations that you know of and grew up with be a hindrance just because...you happen to know them.

    So my advice to anyone dealing with family estrangement is to ask yourself this very question. Your answer will determine your course of action. Life is too short to put up with anyone's BS for long just because they are a blood-relation...especially when they refuse to change.
    Last edited by Neo Omni; 10-28-2011 at 06:27 PM.

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