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Thread: cats vs dog diary

  1. #1
    Shadowlander Gerchferder's Avatar
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    Default cats vs dog diary

    The Dog's Diary

    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    The Cat's Diary

    Day 983 of My Captivity

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously ******ed. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

  2. #2
    Ascendant
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    I think you will like this youtube video :P

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6CcxJQq1x8
    "Power is neccessary because conflict will never dissappear"

  3. #3
    Ascendant Sinndel's Avatar
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    Lol this is now my favorite thread evar.

  4. #4
    Rift Disciple sohma's Avatar
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    I saw this a while ago,I also printed it for my husband and he took it to work and showed it to his coworkers,some got it,some didnt.
    he showed some of hie customers and again some didnt get it but the ones who did get it thought its very funny.
    I have cats and I have had dogs to and this is so very true.

  5. #5
    Sword of Telara corrin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LordOberon View Post
    I think you will like this youtube video :P

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6CcxJQq1x8
    ROFL I've not seen that before, hilarious!

    OP, yeah, I've seen that floating around the 'net. Pretty entertaining :-)

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