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Thread: The Racist Joke Thread - (don't panic it's not what you think).

  1. #1
    Plane Walker ViniH's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Cardiff, UK

    Default The Racist Joke Thread - (don't panic it's not what you think).

    I'm talking about Elves vs Hobbits vs Dwarves vs Tauren vs Gnomes vs Humans vs Undead vs Orc and so on.

    There must be some good jokes out there. Let's hear them! Prizes if you can come up with a funny Rift race joke.

    I'll have a go:

    A Bahami, an Eth, and a Kelari walk into a tavern. The tavern keeper calls over the serving wench and tells her to keep an eye on the party. They take a table and order some drinks. After a while the tavern keeper calls the serving wench back over and asks if she's noticed anything unusual. She says that one of them is covered in strange looking tattoos, the tavern keeper asks, "what the Eth?", to which the barmaid replies, "well there's no need to swear!".

    Q: What's the difference between a Mathosian and a suit of armour?
    A: You can't polish a Mathosian.

    Q: How many dwarves does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Oh come on, they're not THAT short!

    Q: How do you know that a Kelari has been in your house?
    A: All your machines are mysteriously broken.

    Some others:

    A human, an Elf, and a Dwarf walk into a bar and order a beer each. A fly lands in each of their drinks. The Elf pushes his beer away. The Human picks out the fly and drinks the beer. The Dwarf picks out the fly, and starts pounding the fly on the back, screaming "Spit it out...SPIT IT OUT!!!!".
    A party of a dwarf cleric, a halfling wizard, an elf ranger and a warforged barbarian are walking through the wilds of Xen'drik. They happen across a tavern that is obviously run by bugbears.

    They spy the menu of the day and it reads:
    Dwarf Stew, Halfling Pie, Elf Patte'.

    Incensed the party barges into the tavern.

    The Bugbear bartender takes a look at the party, points at the towering barbarian and says

    "HEY, We don't serve his kind in here!"
    A orc captain was marching his entire army to attack Stormreach, they were passing an old abandoned city when they heard a voice within the ancient city's walls: "One Dwarf is better than ten orc soldiers!" The captain was enraged and immediatly sent ten of his best troops over the walls while the remainder of the company waited outside. Then came the sound of a terriffic fight going on, soon all was quiet. Then the voice spoke again: "One Dwarfen soldier is better than a hundred orc soldiers!" Well, the captain sent hundred of his best men over the walls. Soon came the sounds of fight and then silence. The voice spoke up again: "One Dwarfen soldier is better than a thousand orc soldiers!" The captain was furious. He immediately sent the remainder of his troops over the walls save only himself. There came the sound of a fierce battle, and then silence followed by the sound of a dwarf laughing. Finally, one lone orc stumbled back from the battle and collapsed at the captains feet. "Speak! What happened?" asked the captain. The soldier replied with his last breath. "It....was..a trap..there's...TWO...of...them..."
    We are the Defiant!

  2. #2
    Rift Chaser Ellevitia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010


    Sorry I don't know any but I've enjoyed these thanks =]

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