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Thread: Trion's Inferno: The 9 Circles of WF PUG Hell

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    Soulwalker INCEPTI0N's Avatar
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    Post Trion's Inferno: The 9 Circles of WF PUG Hell

    I sit stoically on my mount on the steps of Sanctum when I am suddenly notified that I can enter the Black Garden warfront. Naively I enter, excited at the prospect of some wholesome PVP fun. Little to my knowledge the journey I will come to travel will be one marked with extreme suffering and unforgiving pain. Beware. Simply reading this will cause you to have agonizing nightmares, and you may wake up in a pool of tears cursing me for even posting this.

    The 1st Circle

    I spawn right as the game has begun, eagerly pushing forward toward the center of the map. I quickly cast some HoTs on myself and as the fang appears I cast Shield of The Ancestors, and quickly snatch the fang before I can be CC'ed. I retreat slightly only to notice that my entire team, has decided it would be in best interest to attack the pyro attempting to pick people off on the other side of the map. Undiscouraged I retreat further until a relentless mob of six defiant corner and butcher me in a matter of seconds. This vicious circle ensues the entire round and the three subsequent matches. I tell myself that this will change, and perhaps it is simply bad luck. Unaware of my fallacy I venture on to the second circle of Warfront hell.

    The 2nd Circle

    Things seem to have gotten better; my teammates once mindless animals, seemed to have attained some semblance of cognition and perhaps basic motor function. I am pleasantly surprised when a fellow cleric CCed a rogue that was "attempting" to attack me as I carried the fang. A smile on my face appears as we are close to winning when suddenly the fang's damage is too great to outheal and I die, my teammates all surrounding me.

    While waiting in the graveyard I suddenly see that the Defiant have managed to get ahold of the fang that I dropped; surely I thought to myself my team could not have been slaughtered within a matter of mere seconds? As I approach the cliffs near the spawn I see that they are alive and well, yet distracted by a sole cleric attempting to retreat along the side of the map. A look of utter disdain washes over my face as I step into the third circle of WF hell.

    The 3rd Circle

    I am drenched in sweat. I check my air conditioner and it is 65 degrees. I also detect a rotten scent in the air, yet everything is pristine. Bewildered, I return to the Warfront only to see that the Defiant are in control of the fang, while my team stands in an awkward line in the center. I observed them as one observes a beast in the wild, and after a while I noticed their pattern of behavior. They are waiting, waiting for someone to step forward and commence an attack on the Defiant hiding behind a tree.

    It had been a good 45 seconds when a warrior charges head first, and a couple teammates reluctantly move forward three or four steps. The warrior is quickly gutted and the 2 teammates retreat into the line, another retreating even farther towards the center. This pattern continued until the Defiant had accumulated all their points and the game ended. At this point I am beginning to feel a hollowness in my very fiber, It is vacuous like the minds of my teammates and growing. I ask myself what I have done, as I descend to the fourth circle of WF hell.

    The 4th Circle

    I suddenly notice that my keyboard and mouse glow white hot like steel being forged, at this point it is far too late, the ALT and F4 buttons are missing and my hands are welded to the palmrest and cannot move as the Warfront's wickedness has bound me to an eternity of suffering in the Black Garden. I hear whispers in the dark of how I will be condemned for my hubris; how a mortal man such as me could dare enter the Warfront queue and expect any enjoyment.

    Tears roll down my eyes and they quickly turn to steam. At this point I realize that the wretched spirit of WF is automatically queuing me. I shut my eyes for a moment, and open them only to see that I too am standing in a line in the center of the map, that I have become what I have despised for so long. A wave of panic travels through my body as I suddenly collapse on my keyboard.

    The 5th Circle

    I awake in the midst of what smells like blood and excrement, I hear distant cries followed by an empty silence. How long have I been here? Hours,days,weeks? By this time I have grown a scratchy neckbeard so prickly that it digs into my flesh like thorns.

    I gaze at the screen emotionless, accepting my fate, when all a sudden I see in the corner of my eye that someone has spoken on the Raid channel in Black Gardens. I could not believe my very eyes, I did not think my teammates capable of typing, much less something comprehensible. The message read:"Help me CC the cleric while I burst the carrier". A ray of light peeked through the dense cloud of smoke in my room. A bastion of hope. I quickly realize what I must do, and rush to the cleric and CC him and keep him occupied for about 20 seconds while the Defiant fang carrier is slain. The fang is finally retrieved by my saviour and I guard him closely, spamming my heals relentlessly until we are eventually overwhelmed and massacred.

    I was foolish to think I could win among two decent players. Two players on our team are apparently botting and running blindly about; One other is AFK. I undoubtedly know that this is a hopeless battle, and where there was momentary hope, there is now the solemn understanding that it will get only worse as I am thrust into depths of the 6th circle of WF hell.

    The 6th Circle

    Tears and snot are encrusted on my face as I long for the days when I was in the 1st and 2nd Circle of WF hell. I was ungrateful for realizing how simple things were until they came. They which have tortured my soul, and mercilessly flogged my ego. Premades. I cannot imagine a worse fate than glancing at the scoreboard only to see that the entire opposition is from the same shard. Perhaps in an alternate universe where the average PUG player was not suffering from a concussion and a hemorrhaged brain we could have a chance. In a world where between deaths they could type something constructive as opposed to declaring how OP clerics or mages are. But sadly the reality in which we live in will not allow this. It will only endorse those too ignorant or immature to say anything worthwhile.

    In this circle of WF hell I have become judgmental, arrogant and cynical. The very second I see a player named "Gaaandalf" or "DarkGokuSaiyan" I am almost compelled to tell them how much of a moron they are. At times I have a certain amount of restraint, but it is merely superficial, as anyone knows it is impossible to argue with or criticize an idiot, as it will most certainly end with them spewing old memes (umad/trololol) because they do not have the capacity to respond in an adequate manner. I have come to realize that prolonged exposure to Black Garden PUGs will convert even the most pious man into FPS Doug-style keyboard slamming action.

    The 7th Circle

    I stare at my reflection on my monitor, and for a moment I do not recognize myself. My hope in humanity has been diminished into but a small sliver, and I have decided to change my approach in Warfronts to mirror those of my teammates. Now when I enter Black Gardens I do not see a struggle between two sides to maintain supremacy over the Fang of Regulos, I see 10 vs 10 Death Match Ala Gladiator. In fact I also carry the motion to change the name of the map to de_blackgardens2. It certainly seems fitting at this point.

    The 8th Circle

    As I entered the 8th circle of hell I was cautious, and wary of what dangers may become me. As I sat in my chair I felt a sharp prick in the back of my neck followed by a paralyzing sleepiness. I awoke several hours later in a drugged haze strapped into a wretched machine designed to hold open my eyelids as the WF demon made me watch a horrific montage of my past experiences in Black Gardens. For 25 hours I struggled through the ghastly images of teammates trying to pick up the fang after an enemy had already began to do so (as opposed to interrupting them first), Warriors respawn after respawn running headlong into a Defiant mob solo, Marksman on the sides of the map taking potshots at opponents not involved with the current struggle, Fang Carriers who run around the tree incessantly LOSing healers trying their best to support them. When I was freed I was a scarred man, I had seen the iniquities of the average PUG player, and by no means would I forgive them. Hardened and determined I walked into the final 9th circle of WF hell.

    The 9th Circle

    The water cooling system had ruptured, I could smell the stench of my GPU melting as the case of my computer softened to a putty under the extreme, unbearable heat. I heard it's cry as the last fan made its final rotation. My rig lay in utter ruin, reduced to rubble as the RIFT client began consuming its energy. My screen began to shake violently as if possessed by Regulos himself. Loud guttural sounds began emanating and loudly reverberating off my walls, when a rotting hand emerged from the monitor, it's hand dripping with blood, trying to grasp my throat. I knew at this very moment I would not make it back alive. I made my peace and closed my eyes, waiting for the inevitable, until there was a strange calming silence. I opened my eyes slowly, to find that all the horrors I had witnessed were now gone and I had been freed from the torturous chains that bound me for so long. Moments later I received a call from Comcast explaining how I had been exceeding my bandwidth limit and they had no choice but to sever my connection. To this day I can still hear the cries of other players from Black Gardens, although faint I can make out the words they whisper "LF Premade".

    Addendum

    One can surmise by reading all of this that I am not a level 50 player, that I certainly am not extremely skilled, but I can say without a grain of doubt that the quality of PUG players at Level 50 WFs will not be drastically different. The lack of an acceptable amount of pragmatism and common sense is an inherent flaw of the person not their Rift character.

  2. #2
    Ascendant Stigas's Avatar
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    I thoroughly enjoyed reading that. Not going to comment on whether I agree or not, but it was one hell of an enjoyable read.
    Stigas - 50 Defiant Mage - Rank 5
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    US-Dayblind (PvP)

  3. #3
    Champion of Telara xeshaka's Avatar
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    Awesome right up! You have some talent. I feel your pain
    Last edited by xeshaka; 06-10-2011 at 10:19 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Effi View Post
    I have seen the desecrations they have done, the murders they have wrought, and it can be no sin to be the hand of justice.

  4. #4
    Soulwalker INCEPTI0N's Avatar
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    Heh thanks. I didn't expect everyone to agree with me, just wanted to share an anecdote of lower level PUG WF's and how frustrating it can be for someone that is at least somewhat decent. At times, I half wish that I could understand what the majority of these players are thinking, their thought processes and such, because I am genuinly baffled 90% of the time.
    Last edited by INCEPTI0N; 06-10-2011 at 10:17 AM.

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    Plane Walker Ashrai's Avatar
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    Very entertaining read

    I spent most of last night in the 8th circle. /weeps
    Ashrai@Deepwood
    Sporeslinger of <Godlike Awesomeness>

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    Champion of Telara Fiasco3's Avatar
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    funny how people focus on the negatives. I'm sure you win some warfronts and everyone on the other team is just as bad as the people on your team. It just so happens that one side does worse than the other in any given game.

    Especially before 50, when pretty much everyone is a PUG. Anyway, continue your roleplay.

  7. #7
    Ascendant Satiar's Avatar
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    Oh, young foolish one! You thought, in your childish innocence, that there were only 9 circles of the Inferno?

    The P6 Hoard awaits you. It never sleeps, and it's always hungry. You will die to the soul-chilling cry of: "MOAR FAVOR!!!!!!1!1!"
    Last edited by Satiar; 06-10-2011 at 03:20 PM.
    Officer of Legacy, Keenblade.

    Prestige Rank 8 -- 4/10 HK -- Rogue

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    Plane Touched Almaria SideSwipe's Avatar
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    Wh don't you build a group?

    SideSwipe

  9. #9
    Soulwalker INCEPTI0N's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fiasco3 View Post
    funny how people focus on the negatives. I'm sure you win some warfronts and everyone on the other team is just as bad as the people on your team. It just so happens that one side does worse than the other in any given game.

    Especially before 50, when pretty much everyone is a PUG. Anyway, continue your roleplay.
    True enough, I can win a streak of matches, and I have no qualms with losing yet incompetence is another story. It would be unjust to say that the Guardians are only guilty of these things, but as I do not play Defiant, I would not know, but I would assume it is very similar. Some of the traits that these bad players exemplify are not necessarily lack of skill, but rather complete unawareness of their surroundings and utterly selfish behavior. I can also presume that the fraction of these players that reach 50 will not change.

    A good player should have no objection to dying in order to achieve an objective, especially when they will be rewarded with favor and experience for doing exactly that. But rather they settle with attempting to farm KB's as if they provide any real rewards. I am currently on the Briarcliff shard and this is my experience thus far. I will certainly be running premades once I reach 50. I have played a good amount MMOs, I surmise that you have as well, and this isn't a problem specific to Rift. In WoW at 60/70/80/85 I have seen the same stereotypical player time and time again, and I am certain you have encountered them as well.

  10. #10
    Soulwalker INCEPTI0N's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by satiar View Post
    oh, young foolish one! You thought, in your childish innocence, that there were only 9 circles of the inferno?

    The p6 hoard awaits you. It never sleeps, and it's always hungry. You will die to the soul-chilling cry of: "moar favor!!!!!!1!1!"
    noooooooooo mooooar!

  11. #11
    Soulwalker INCEPTI0N's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Almaria SideSwipe View Post
    Wh don't you build a group?
    I would but I'm on the Briarcliff shard, just about every pre-50 character is either part of the Ruin guild or No-Clan. They are the only guild to my knowledge that run regular 10-40 premades (Advertising in the general channels will warrant no response, perhaps a couple players at best). The other guilds are rather small so it is hard to get a decent group going. I'd rather not join the Ruin guild for the sake of doing premades as I'd likely leave once I reached 50. I have nothing against them per se, but in my experience I have not enjoyed giant guilds that have hundreds upon hundreds of members. That said if anyone is on the Briarcliff server and knows of a decent guild I'm up for suggestions.

  12. #12
    Banned Sawdomite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stigas View Post
    I thoroughly enjoyed reading that. Not going to comment on whether I agree or not, but it was one hell of an enjoyable read.
    This.

    The first couple were okay, but they started to get funny as you went on. The neckbeard one was especially good.

    Nice post.

  13. #13
    Plane Walker Shredicus's Avatar
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    Best post I've ever read on this piece of **** forum. A+++

  14. #14
    Rift Master
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    Beautiful.

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    Rift Chaser Misterjingo's Avatar
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    Were... were you watching me last night?

    How could you know? Are YOU one of my tormentors?!

    Am I still here? Am I ALIVE?!

    Am I still in Blackgarden, simply dreaming of another life?!

    I... I...
    Playtime - p4x Guardian Rogue - Bloodiron
    Sma - p4x Guardian Mage - Bloodiron

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