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Thread: 4 Types of People in PUGs (That Really Piss Me Off)

  1. #1
    Plane Touched
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    Default 4 Types of People in PUGs (That Really Piss Me Off)

    As I kid, I had a tendency to break things. I mean a lot of things. I almost always took out my anger on inanimate objects, but if cats were a little slower I'm pretty sure I would have murdered all of them every time I tried to land on the carrier in Top Gun. I realized at some point in my early adult years before discovering women and the growing pains of puberty that I rarely lost my cool and started exploding things with my fists unless I was sitting down in front of an interactive story. Fact is, I could read Choose Your Own Adventure and five minutes in I'd "turn to page" throw this book and tear it in half. I'm that bad.

    When I got older, I had to get a grip on my anger because I love video games and I'd feared that temper would become a Pavlov issue and if it had I might have strangled the girl I dated when I was about 21 because she pissed me off.

    Fortunately that anger has been dormant, and I haven't stared at a snapped controller or through a broken window in years. I don't get mad at games anymore. Now I get mad at people in games. And there are four types in Rift PUGs that are set on inadvertently turning my apartment into a apocalyptic wasteland of alcoholic rage.

    The Critic
    Also known as the guy that insists on explaining, in (usually sarcastic) detail what you're doing wrong while providing you with a (usually sarcastic) solution. Keep in mind that sounds relatively helpful unless of course you didn't ask for his/her advice. Ever. They'll go out of their way to let you know that while your dps is remarkably good, it could be better. Or even though you pulled the boss over there and no one died, they usually pull the boss over here. The worst part is that this insecure elitis will poison the rest of the group, converting the most innocent and pleasant person into a defensive critic themselves, at which point the Critic essentially clones himself and spreads his anger herpes to the rest of the group, curable only by death.

    The One Sec
    Let me just say... one sec. Ok, where was I? Right, so... sorry one sec. The One Sec is the busiest person on the entire planet. I have no idea what they're doing but they'll have to go afk at least fifty times during any given dungeon run. I can only assume they scheduled about five things prior to queuing with absolutely no expectation whatsoever of actually getting in. Now granted, we can all relate to long queue times, but The One Sec is too dumb to consider that queue times are opportunities to finish real world tasks, not start ones that require immediate attention in 10 minutes and require four other people - who according to you - have nothing better to do than wait while you find Everybody Loves Raymond on Netflix.

    The Excuse
    I'm lagging. My computer froze. My parents are getting a divorce. No one cares, and none of those things are probably happening. Except maybe the parents thing, and it's totally your fault. We all know that sometimes you trip over the cable, your cat jumps on the keyboard, or a tiny cartoon-like storm cloud hanging over your head while you're playing, but some people just have the worst luck. And by luck I mean they're full of excuses. Here's an example:

    Leader: "Ok, let's pull the right group."
    Ready Check.
    Everyone is ready!
    The Excuse shoots an arrow into the left group a millisecond after the right group is pulled.
    Leader: What the fu-
    The Excuse: I'M HAVING A STROKE.
    Leader: God damnit.
    The Excuse has disconnected.

    The Gloat
    Some people are proud of their achievements. When you do something remarkable, you might feel the need to share it. Like say, cure a disease. Graduate something. Lose your virginity to one of your mom's friends. Win first place in a competition. Pick up loot, make a few macros, and copy a build from a forum then produce good dps in a video game. I'm kidding of course about that last one, because no one gives a care about that but you. Seriously - no one. But the Gloat doesn't know that. The Gloat is so insecure in the real world that the DPS parser has become the "art" his mom refused to put on the fridge because "it doesn't look anything like a dog, Kevin." Every time he mentions his damage he's essentially asking for a virtual hug, and most people give it to him. Congratulations, you're the mom Kevin always needed. And I'm now his drunk, violent father.

    That's about it. There are plenty of types like this but these are hands down the worst offenders in my experience, and I hate all of them. I hope that helps you to identify them in the future, and avoid them when you do. If you don't actually encounter these people, that's because you're one of them.

    Much Love,

    -Homebrew
    Last edited by Linian; 08-29-2011 at 03:26 PM.

  2. #2
    Prophet of Telara
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    Good stuff

    You need corresponding avatars for each one and you're golden.

  3. #3
    Rift Master
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    Did you need the number to a therapist?

  4. #4
    Telaran Almidon's Avatar
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    Now just cause i'm curious... Which type are you, Homebrew?

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    Ascendant Hoss616's Avatar
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    5) The silent type.

    I hate people who say nothing...even when you ask them a question.
    Hoss

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    Ascendant Bliter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jariath View Post
    Did you need the number to a therapist?
    This reply was FTW!

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    Ascendant Cromagis's Avatar
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    I guess I'd be the gloater. I don't like it when people try to tell me to do content, that I've been clearing since release. Like "Yeah, Hey, I've done this 100 times no need to explain it to me like I'm ******ed."

    And I'd be a bit of a critic, when people do stupid pulls, or interesting pulls/strategy's I'm like

    "Hey, why did you pull it that way over xyz?"
    And if people ask me what they're dps are I normally go "It was decent"
    Quote Originally Posted by Rizaz View Post
    Your opinion is wrong and you should feel bad for sharing it with the world.
    11/11 HK(World top 10), 4/4 ROTP, Greenscale/RoS Current-Content Conqueror, GP Cleared, TDH Cleared.

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  8. #8
    Shadowlander
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    I laughed. Great post.

  9. #9
    Plane Touched Azlin's Avatar
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    6) The Angry One

  10. #10
    Ascendant
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    Quote Originally Posted by Homebrew View Post
    The Critic


    The One Sec


    The Excuse


    The Gloat


    Much Love,

    -Homebrew
    Sniped for post length. I agree. Especially the "one sec". I was running an instance as level 48, with two level 50's and two on par per level character. Should have been quick as cake. The One Sec person slowed it to almost two hours. If I didn't need it for a quest, and if they weren't guildies, I would have ducked out.

    The worst part. The one sec person wasn't AFK. They were one sec, I need to break this piece of gear I just won. I need to change this gear I just won, rune it up, change my wardrob and apply my dye. ER.. NO. Do it after pls.

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    Ascendant Bliter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Milyssa View Post
    Sniped for post length. I agree. Especially the "one sec". I was running an instance as level 48, with two level 50's and two on par per level character. Should have been quick as cake. The One Sec person slowed it to almost two hours. If I didn't need it for a quest, and if they weren't guildies, I would have ducked out.

    The worst part. The one sec person wasn't AFK. They were one sec, I need to break this piece of gear I just won. I need to change this gear I just won, rune it up, change my wardrob and apply my dye. ER.. NO. Do it after pls.
    If a level 50 joins one of my groups on a toon I am grinding and they "One Sec", that is my que to drop group. When a 50 does it in a leveling group, its usually to assert how important he/she thinks they are to the group. "You all can hang while I get a beer or reload this bowl" It will happen again and again so your best bet is to say "Thanks, but no thanks!"
    I'm not even joking.

  12. #12
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    The only thing worse than the "one sec" guy is the "GOGOGO" guy. In my experience this is usually a tank who barely meets the gear requirements, but he saw some guy one time in raid gear chain-pulling like a boss so he thinks he can do it. Over-pulls, doesn't wait on healers' mana, tries to rush and inevitably causes multiple wipes before calling everyone noobs and ragequitting.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by JimboTCB View Post
    The only thing worse than the "one sec" guy is the "GOGOGO" guy. In my experience this is usually a tank who barely meets the gear requirements, but he saw some guy one time in raid gear chain-pulling like a boss so he thinks he can do it. Over-pulls, doesn't wait on healers' mana, tries to rush and inevitably causes multiple wipes before calling everyone noobs and ragequitting.
    So you have grouped with me before??? PAISAN!

  14. #14
    Sword of Telara
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    The guy jimbo mentioned (GOGOGO) and the "one sec" guy.

    Ive met some a-holes who have defied categorization too..

    -the tank that afks and doesnt even tell you. "where'd your guildie go?" "We dont know probably for a smoke?" 5 minutes later.."back, went for a smoke, lets go"*pulls everything before you can rebuff...

  15. #15
    Plane Touched Redrowen's Avatar
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    7. The forum troll

    Hates everything that everybody does within the game and always has a fresh arsenal of insults to fire at the first question that is asked, making the victim quickly switch to 5. the silent type.

    Once complete, has to create a thead about how everybody sucks at everything. ever.

    I fall into the GOGOGO Guy category. Generally MUST PULL ALL THE MOBS
    Last edited by Redrowen; 08-29-2011 at 02:17 PM.
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