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Thread: Patch Notes For 1.2 - TLDR Cliff Notes Version

  1. #1
    Rift Master
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    Default Patch Notes For 1.2 - TLDR Cliff Notes Version

    CLERICS

    * All Clerics can no longer snare snared targets, but can snare rooted targets as long as rooted targets aren't snared by another snaring effect, or a snare that removes control of a snared character from such snaring effects.

    Inquisitor

    * Inquisitors were buffed, so that someone may actually play one over a Cabalist.

    Cabalist

    * Fixed Bugs or something.

    Justicar:

    * Reduced the need for other tanks in Rift by 100%

    Shaman/Druid

    * Reduced the need for other melee DPS in Rift by 100%

    All Healers

    * See Templar Changes.

    Templar (PvP)

    * Templars are now killable. Those wishing to do so will now be offered a quest in Sanctum/Meridian involving midgets and a road trip to a fiery lava pit on some mountain to destroy some ancient ring.

    MAGES

    * After careful consideration, we felt not enough mages are actually playing Pyromancers, and have attempted to correct this with some gentle changes to the other souls.

    Stormcaller

    * Respec Pyro Please.

    Archon

    * Respec Pyro Please.

    Necromancer


    * Respec Pyro Please.

    Elementalist

    * Respec Pyro Please.

    Chloromancer

    * Put 11 points in me, then See Warlock.

    Warlock

    * Level to 50, then Respec Pyro Please

    Dominator

    * Following the drop in playing this soul after the mana drain fixes in 1.1, we're deleting it and no one cares.

    Pyromancer

    * Renamed the class Bright Wizards.
    * Ground of Strength has been renamed God Mode for ease of understanding.
    * While in God Mode, damage done by Bright Wizards is reduced by 10% in an effort to nerf 8k Fumigate Screenshots
    * While in God Mode, the number of abilities that removes control of your character or inconveniences them in anyway remains zero.
    * While in God Mode, all physical damage has been reduced to zero.
    * While in God Mode, all healing required has been reduced to zero.
    * While in God Mode, any skill required to play Bright Wizards has been reduced to zero.
    * See Marksman soul under Rogue Calling for Bright Wizard nerfs.

    ROGUES

    * In anticipation for the exciting new changes to the Rogue calling, we have released videos of the most practical joke rogue builds owning face.

    * Practical Joke Rogue builds have now been buffed to ridiculously high levels, in an effort to laugh at those who made fun of them in the videos.

    * Most rogues souls now have a function in Rift, as was intended from the start.

    Assassins
    * For ease of understanding, Assassins have been renamed "Invisible Melee Bright Wizards With Sharp Objects."
    * If at any time, an Assassin's life is less than his targets, he may leave combat, heal, and try again.

    Marksmen
    * For ease of understanding, Marksmans have been renamed to "Bright Wizard's Nerf"
    * We have buffed this calling to an absurd degree, hoping Taugrim will stop playing his Paladin/Riftblade and make more videos about this calling. It would save us the time of making more videos ourselves in the future.


    WARRIORS


    *Adjustments made to tanking, in hopes that someone may actually like to try it someday.

    *Inserted cool sounding words, life long wisdom and the occasional personal commentary underneath all other souls to make it seem like we did something meaningful for all of them.

    Void Knights
    * Class completely overhauled in an effort to get someone to try and play it.

    Warlords
    * Class completely overhauled in an effort to get someone to try and play it.

    Paragon
    * In an effort to streamline the warrior playing process, we reduced the Paragon tree to 2 points and made it mandatory for all warriors to have as a third soul.

    Riftblade
    * We've put Flamespam back into the game.
    * Ha ha ha, kidding. But we had you for a sec. Stupid f*&#@ing playstyle.

    Paladins
    * I have a belly button. I found lint inside.

    Reavers

    * I'm still upset Firefly was cancelled, and every time I hear this souls name, I'm reminded of that pain. Aren't you?

    Beastmaster

    * When life gives you lemons, ninja-kick the dirty bastard and tell it to give you the goddam orange juice you ordered.

    Champion
    * Respectable young women do not appreciate tongue on the first date.

  2. #2
    Banned Sawdomite's Avatar
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    +1.

    Pretty funny post, and scary enough it's pretty accurate.

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    Ascendant Apoth's Avatar
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    now can you do all that in a GLaDos voice?

    WTB the above item .... mine broke

  4. #4
    Champion of Telara
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    A+

    Came for the descriptions, stayed for the truthiness.

    Just started watching Firefly again. The sadness burns all over again. WHYYYY
    Last edited by Snyrf; 05-10-2011 at 09:56 AM.

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    Ascendant TheHangman's Avatar
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    Looks like someone completely missed the updated patch notes on GoS.

  6. #6
    Champion
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    This is why I read Cliff Notes and not books. They should sticky this under the patch notes...lol.

  7. #7
    Sez
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    Bravo good sir, Bravo.
    Sez is now Zes on Dayblind

    - Rogue Lead - <Gestalt> - Defiant - Dayblind Server -

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheHangman View Post
    Looks like someone completely missed the updated patch notes on GoS.
    Wow... I updated 1 hour ago, and it said 30% to 20%. Given the armor buffs and resistance buffs, it seemed more like a buff at the end of the day. Now with 30% to 0%... AND a -10% nerf, wow.

    EDIT:

    Pyromancers
    * Fixed an issue where Gersh locked himself in our Patch Launching room, screaming "NO! NO! NO!" and buffed Bright Wizards in 1.2
    * Gersh is now no longer with the company, having been sent to a psyche ward for further testing. Get better, Gersh!
    * God Mode has been re-renamed Circle of Suck.
    Last edited by Lysander Salavone; 05-10-2011 at 10:10 AM.

  9. #9
    Soulwalker Lyas's Avatar
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    Don't like it? Don't play.

  10. #10
    Rift Disciple Neuronicercasi's Avatar
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    Precise, effective + humour!!!
    Mage 50 (fresh/parked) / Warrior 50 (beginning T1/parked) / Rogue 50 (beginning T1/active) / Cleric 50 (fresh/parked)

  11. #11
    Sword of Telara Dazee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheHangman View Post
    Looks like someone completely missed the updated patch notes on GoS.
    I think everyone complaining missed those patch notes... I lol'ed at the Assassin part though.


    Nerf PAPER,
    SCISSORS are fine.

    Signed,
    ROCK

  12. #12
    Ascendant TheLeviathan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lysander Salavone View Post
    Wow... I updated 1 hour ago, and it said 30% to 20%. Given the armor buffs and resistance buffs, it seemed more like a buff at the end of the day. Now with 30% to 0%... AND a -10% nerf, wow.

    EDIT:

    Pyromancers
    * Fixed an issue where Gersh locked himself in our Patch Launching room, screaming "NO! NO! NO!" and buffed Bright Wizards in 1.2
    * Gersh is now no longer with the company, having been sent to a psyche ward for further testing. Get better, Gersh!
    * God Mode has been re-renamed Circle of Suck.
    LOL

    Good thread, but the whole mage bit needs a rewrite ;)
    Red ball + fulminate + really craptacular dom/pyro spec trying to hard cast transmog and pray your spell lands before some squirrel punching moron eats your controlled opp proc = +1 board warrior keeping mages from being realistically balanced in PVE or PVP. 1.0-1.2's best combo in the game. RIP FOTM Pyro rollers

  13. #13
    Ascendant Inixia's Avatar
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    hehe neat thread, the mage part is probably pretty accurate sadly.
    miss my dominator ;_(

  14. #14
    Telaran
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inixia View Post
    hehe neat thread, the mage part is probably pretty accurate sadly.
    miss my dominator ;_(
    Indeed. May the soul rest in peace.

  15. #15
    RIFT Guide Writer Ninjahax's Avatar
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    +1 internets for Firefly reference.

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