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Thread: The Alternate Tale of Rennielle.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2014

    Default The Alternate Tale of Rennielle.


    I have no idea if this is the right area to put stories relating to Rift's lore and gameplay events, I apologise in advance if this isn't the right place or the stories I am going to make are not appropriate for this particular section of the role-play forum.

    I have created a new build for the souls released recently and I have been inspired a little to write a few stories of the character to give a little flavour to her. These stories do not reflect any actual backstory she has in the game, nor does it reflect the lore that supports Rift directly. Indeed, you could say that these stories are my own interpretation, so I again apologise in advance if something appears inaccurate; it most likely is!

    I am very much rusty in my writing skills, so I request patience as you read. I also have difficulty with my composition skills, due to the way I try to use conversational tones in any of my writing. If something looks confusing to you, try reading it out to yourself! (Quietly of course)

    As I learn more of this forum's systems, I'll try to include an index of each chapter and section for ease of use. If I have not set up hyperlinks to each chapter or section yet, feel free to Ctrl+F to find the section you want, I'll label them appropriately. I'll also include a bio of the character developments to date in this storyline on this first post, as well as a glossary of things I've manifested as different from the actual game.



    Chapter 1:
    Section 1
    Section 2


    Name: Unknown (Clue is in the title at this point.)

    Soul Matrix: Unknown/Unknown/Unknown

    Planar Attunements: Minor Life.

    Abilities: Unknown.

    Equipment: Ragged Blanket.


    Important differences.

    Sourcestone Matrix: Essentially the soul tree, in this story it contains one soul each. Unstable Matrix usually stores more souls at increased risk to the integrity of the host body. Any more than one requires a selection of souls that is beyond exceptional and as such are very rare.

    Planar Attunements: Influx of planar energies attracted to the strength of the exceptional soul, unlike the game itself, this is a detriment to the stability of the Sourcestone Matrix. Greater amounts of planar energy allow for more broad feats of strength and magic for the Matrix, but place the souls within at risk of being swept away or consumed by the influx of energy.

    Minor differences.

    Engineered Ascended: Defiant constructed Sourcestone beings elevated from Golems to living beings powered by exceptional souls.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2014


    Chapter 1, Section 1.

    Nestled in the far mountains of a now unrecognisable landscape, a final Defiant base stood against all opposition. This doomed world of death and forsaken promise had completely fallen to the advance of the intrusions from the plane of death a long time ago. Many had blamed the Defiant for their machines but no one could deny that even with the protection of the Vigil, the Ward that had once obscured the gaps between dimensions had fractured and faded. The fracturing of the Ward would allow other dimensions to take root in the land of Telara, which seen the bizarre conversion of what would otherwise be energy and the will of the beyond, into something that would very much be a tangible threat to all that would call Telara home.

    The plane of death was a particularly formidible foe for the defenders of Telara, as it's influence would seep endless amounts of reanimating energy through the fractured ward into Telara. Such abundance of reanimating energy would ensure that those with ambition could never die and with knowledge of the arcane, allow such endless individuals to manipulate the souls of others before they would find their way beyond the veil proper. Such deprevation of souls for the beyond would upset the natural order of things, futher worsening the blurred lines between Telara and the plane of death. Eventually, the incredible chaos of the invading planes would place the Vigil beyond the reach of their home, the land of Telara.

    The Ascended, which were the last hope of Telara, fought to protect their burdening land and reestablish contact with the Vigil. They failed.

    As the plane of death would merge fully with Telara, sweeping aside all other planar influences, killing and assimilating all into their thrall, the singular mind directing the endless aggression of the ravaging host would become known; Regulos. In his triumph, the unstoppable host of his forces would bear down on the last bastion of Telara. With the ascended lost to the desperate conflict of the ages, all heroes would meet their ends along the way, leaving only the most valuable and the knowledge they held. This knowledge was a quality they could not lose, as when the oldest and most powerful ascended lay in a ditch of his own entrails, entirely corrupted by the plane of death, he would impart something vital to the Defiant. The memories of his ascension and how the Vigil balanced his planar attunement.

    This information combined with the Defiant's successful research into sourcestone bodies and soul retrevial, lead to the invention of the Engineered Ascended. No doubt an affront to the Guardians and the Vigil, but this mattered little as death itself would swallow their land whole. The Defiants would carry the last will of the ascended with them as they devoted themselves entirely in their last bastion to the manufacture of their ascended, using all the sourcestone they had left to create an army unable to face the enemy before them. However, it was not here in this doomed land that the ascended would fight back the plane of death, for the Defiant had one last plan; the failsafe.

    With the last of the Defiant Elite Vanguard and Guardian Holy Warrior forces holding the doors into their bastion and the sleepless remainder of their scientists and priests working on the bodies, souls and final moments of those that were lucky enough to get in before the doors closed. An entire room of complex machinery would line the walls of the deepest area of the bastion, with both Defiant and Guardian working together to identify likely candidates for ascension and realising such in the upright cylinders that would bring to life heroes from ages past in new, durable bodies of broad potential.

    These machines had already created more than four hundred ascended from their mechanical wombs and their sourcestone was running out, they had only enough for two more bodies. There was only one more soul they considered to retrieve and they set out to it immediately...

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2014


    Chapter 1, Section 2.

    The last soul they had chosen for ascension was an individual known as Cordian. A Mathosian man with dusken skin, a warrior of renoun from the Iron Pine Peak. Rumor had it that he single handedly repelled years of abyssal assaults on Hammerknell with only his fists until he fell valiantly against treachery from the Runeguard. The attendants would place a batch of sourcestone into one of their machines, calibrate the formative liquid that quickly filled the well used tank, then turn to scientists manning a nearby panel, their eyes marred with black from sleepless nights and ceaseless work.

    "Ready the attunator" A scientist would croak tiredly towards his companions, who would kick a nearby pipe. The force of the impact would crackle a view screen in front of them to life and a list of names would scroll across the screen until a scientist would tap the name of Cordian Dermaine. A window with his full details, including his food preferences, would list towards the bottom of the screen, with a flashing banner at the top indicating that the system was ready to retrieve his soul from it's current prison, be it within the soul stream or inside a corrupted and reanimated body.

    "Prepare and activate the retrieval system" The scientist would announce with slightly more vigour as he would grasp a lever on his panel and flip it upwards. The entire room would crackle to life with bolts of lightning appearing along the pipe work between each machine. The lightning would travel its way with intent towards the tank filled with fluid and infuse itself into the floating sourcestone. A massive and intricate machine in the center of the room would suddenly fill it's interconnected pipes with a white goo glowing in the dank darkness of the area, at which point the scientists would start screaming at an attendant that would collapse onto the machine, not only jolting it with a minor amount of force, but also slamming into a regulator panel.

    Another deathly looking attendant would rush to the panel, reset it and stand at attention of the panel, making sure that no damage was done. The collapsed attendant would be approached by a Guardian Priest, who would check him briefly and murmur a silent prayer, then pick him up to drag him out of the room.

    "Another one lost. At least this will be over soon" A scientist would mumble to himself, just audible enough for his companions to nod subtly. They would look back to the Attunator view screen to find an alarming message; 'Attunator Error, unknown soul retrieved, try again' From their experience with this machine, the scientists knew that was a bad sign. They would step away from this panel and observe the formative liquid starting to stick to the free floating sourcestone, soon obscured by the injection of a brightly glowing white goo into the fluid rich tank. Before long, the blinding light from the tank would fade and the door would open, a rush of spent gooey liquid spreading out into the floor.

    The attendants would rush to start cleaning the liquid away from the machine in the clearly practised manner that they have done hundreds of times before. They would begin to clean fluid from what they would realise was a female Kelari, her skin a pale white that initially confused the attendants into believing she was a High Elf. After cleaning her properly and carefully lifting her towards an examining table to the side of the tank, the scientists approached with various tools.

    "Ok, due to attunator failure, lets check who she is first" A scientist would say as they unfold a device from their toolkit and place it on top of her head. A small screen on the device would recount a familiar error seen a moment before, complaining that it cannot identify her soul. Cursing to himself, the scientist would unfold another device and hold it over her body for a moment. "Lets see here... Sourcestone Matrix is unstable. Planar Attunement reads at twenty quadreks per second" He would pause with a heavy sigh, then tap the screen on the planar attunement window. "Planar energy gain is life attunement at a volume of two hundred units per second" The scientists would turn away from her body, with only the man holding the device himself hanging his head in sadness.

    "She will be dead within twenty minutes, her soul consumed before then and lost to us" he would mumble while looking to her unmoving face. "A waste of sourcestone, leave her outside" he would retrieve his tools and signal to an attendant, several of such would place a blanket on the Kelari and carry her outside the room to place her curled upright in the corner of the entry room. The room would feature other beings similarly curled up against the walls, some even more pale than death.

    The incubator room would again flash to life soon after, with the tell tale sound of running water and an opening door. The firm steps of a larger being would echo through the entry room and the scientists can be heard announcing success of their last ascension. The imposingly well build form of Cordian wearing only a ragged blanket would soon appear in the entry room to the incubator, flanked by attendants. The Kelari would wake briefly, turning her eyes up to see Cordian briefly glare at her as he would scan the bodies surrounding him during his stride, on his way out of the deepest depths of the Defiant's last bastion.

    Her brief struggle would be seen in her attempts to reach out and pull herself towards where Cordian was going, but she would only be rewarded with uncurling herself and face planting into the cold and smelly ground. She would black out for a brief moment once more...

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2014

    Default Chapter 1, Section 3.

    (I only just learned on making this post that there seems to be an edit limit on this forum. That makes it rather inconvenient for endeavours such as this, if anyone happens to know if there is any procedures to get edit rights to this topic, please PM me. Thanks!)

    Chapter 1, Section 3.

    The Kelari would once again waken, thankfully not much time had seemed to have passed from her falling unconscious again. She could hear faint chanting and prayer from the next room as she would open her eyes to try and see where the sounds were coming from. She had felt like every bone in her body was broken and her flesh could only be described as rancid, but she was alive although she couldn't guess for how long. Her eyes would focus on the doorway into the next room away from the incubator, but all she could see is the pale and rotten bodies of at least twenty other people all similarly curled up against the walls of the corridor.

    With all the strength she would have, the Kelari would reach for the closest body and rest her hand upon it's shoulder. She would open her mouth to speak, but can only croak what could not even be considered a groan of any type, of which she would compensate by shaking the shoulder of the person laying next to her. A sickening rip would come from her company and the Kelari's hand would sink into the softening flesh of her companion. She would raise her hand from the rotten flesh and notice it covered in stale blood, which would evoke a scream from her if she was able to scream at all.

    Realising that she couldn't stay here, the Kelari would steel herself to rise to her feet. Her only option was to seek others, she had known, which would strike her as curious as when she would search her memories, only her name was able to come to mind. What had happened to her, she had wondered as she would grunt silently, pressing down into the ground with her hands to give some leverage for her legs. The pain at this point was unbearable for her, but she would press on, calling all of the reserves she had left. She may be a mess, but she was not going to let herself die in this horrid place.

    In a final bid to struggle to her feet, her body would glow faintly with a healthy and vibrant colour, strength entering her body just enough for her legs to respond. Finding herself unsteadily on her feet, she would try to place one foot in front of the other in effort to learn how to walk, which would be complicated by an initial trip over the body she was attempting to get the attention of earlier. Despite her trip being very minor, the force was enough to tear at the neck of the body, causing the now unidentifiable face to stare up at her. Looking down at the face, the Kelari would silently offer her apologies, then introduce herself. Rennielle, she would call herself in a very brief and final bow to the corpse, before she would continue her unsteady trek through what was quite literally a corridor of the dead.

    Her entry into the next room was initially blinding for her, as the magical light that held fast to the ceiling is something that she has not seen before. She would be on what appears to be an elevated stone platform, with a metal fence stopping any unintentional falls into the room beyond. Stepping up to the fence, she would look down to see an entire hall filled with tables in columns, all bearing leather backpacks and various devices. Her eyes would adapt to the new light and come into focus, allowing her to see the vast gathering of at least fifty people, many still in ragged blankets similar to hers. Clothes were being given out to those still in the blankets and those that were suited up in new clothing as well as shouldering one of the many backpacks on the tables were quickly ushered out into an area beyond.

    Rennielle had come to realise that standing with only a blanket on was rather shameful and would wonder if she could get some clothes if she were to ask. Hard to do so, she would think to herself, since she has not been able to speak yet. Turning her attention to a ramp downwards, she would unsteadily walk down to the next floor, holding onto the metal railings for support. She would soon catch the attention of attendants on the lower floor, who would come to her aid as she reached the bottom of the ramp. They would bring her to the closest table, at which the distinctive figure of Cordian would be seen fully clothed and brandishing impressive looking metal fist guards. He would turn his attention to Rennielle for a moment and watch as she would struggle to lean against the table at the frowns of the rugged quartermaster servicing them.

    The quartermaster would hesitate in his delivery of goods and hold a hand to his chin. Rennielle would look up at him with laboured breaths, believing in her mind that the quartermaster was unimpressed. She would avert her eyes down to the table as the distraction of the scientists would soon follow in her footsteps, pausing at the table Rennielle and Cordian stood when they would realise who she was.

    "Interesting" a Scientist would say as he would reach past Rennielle to a device on the table, picking it up and holding it against her. "Life energy levels are still increasing at two hundred units per second" he would pause with a confounded look on his face. "It has been over forty five minutes since you were ascended, you should be dead" the scientists would gather around Rennielle at the comment, checking the readings on the device. "Well, it no longer matters. You'll likely be killed as you are once you go outside" he would sigh as he would power off the device and place it back on the table. "Outfit her, like everyone else" the quartermaster would say as the device was placed back in front of him, swiftly packing it into a satchel along with a metal tin. The scientists would move on beyond Cordian, leaving Rennielle with the quartermaster to finish his work. In a well practised manner, he would also put a book and what looks like a sealed syringe into the satchel. With the holder now filled to capacity, he would tie it together and extend some straps from it, then push it across the table to Rennielle with a set of clothing.

    Caught up in the moment, Rennielle would grasp the straps of the satchel and attempt to lift it from the table, only for the satchel to slip from her grasp and clatter loudly against the ground. With the blanket still wrapped around her shoulders, Rennielle would glance over her shoulders to see that she has just attracted the attention of the nearest tables. Frowning deeply, she would start to kneel to try and pick up the satchel. She would be interrupted by Cordian, who would haul the satchel up suddenly to the table with a frustrated grunt, then proceed to man handle Rennielle by forcibly assisting her with putting on her new clothing. "We do not have much time, you weak fool" Cordian would whisper to Rennielle as he dressed her, despite her protests.

    Finding herself now dressed and shouldering her satchel, the quartermaster would slam a basic wooden quarterstaff on the table. "This is for you, more of a walking stick than a weapon, but I think you won't be able to swing anyway" the quartermaster would growl, then turn away from the duo to step towards the hall's exit. Cordian would be led off soon after by attendants, carrying his satchel with ease, leaving Rennielle behind with her staff. Sniffing back a tear, Rennielle would slide the staff from the table and use it as a walking stick to follow the rapidly dissipating group of people leaving the hall. The last of the attendants and armoured guards would join her and close the doors after.

    Bio Update!

    Name: Rennielle.

    Equipment added:
    Mass produced Ascension Clothing (Torso, Legs, Shoes)
    Satchel (Small Scanner, Small Ration, Small Empyrean Medpak, Informational Booklet)
    Last edited by Rennielle; 07-02-2014 at 02:48 PM.

  5. #5
    Oed is offline
    Join Date
    Jul 2014


    Apologies in advance if you're not looking for feedback, but I wanted to impart one small bit of advice. I've noticed that a lot of roleplayers in the past couple years have taken to a formal of "so-and-so would something-or-other" in their writing. I don't think most of them realize that this isn't correct writing, however... and that's no criticism of you personally, of course! As I said, I've seen a lot of people doing it.

    Consider writing specifically in past or present tense. So, for example, rather than saying "Bob would grin at the joke." say either "Bob grinned at the joke." or "Bob grins at the joke."

    The reason that "would" is incorrect is that it implies that the subsequent phrase does not occur due to some other circumstance explained just after it. For instance, "Bob would grin at the joke, but the joke is terrible." In that example, present tense is used (the joke /is/ terrible) and the "would" correctly is used to show what may have happened if the joke wasn't terrible (but it was).

    Of course, even in that circumstance, be wary of the reader's perspective. If the reader is not omniscient, then the reader doesn't have any way to know what might have occurred in the alternate reality in which the joke wasn't terrible, so there's no reason to explain that alternate "failed" possibility (in other words, you'd just want to say "Bob doesn't grin at the terrible joke."). Whether or not the reader can be considered omniscient depends on the situation. If you're writing a story, novel-style, then it's wholly up to you to decide what the reader's perspective is. However, if the reader is intended to be a participant in the story (such as in RP, or, in a novel-style narrative in which the reader is intended to be experiencing the story from the perspective of someone within the story), then omniscience should probably not ever be assumed, since the character whose perspective you're writing to is probably not omniscient.

    Hope this is helpful! But I also know this is the internet and I'm likely to get told I'm an inhuman monster. :P

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