Weddings and Moral Code

[Redhawks]

With the announcement of weddings in 1.7, I want to pose an ethical question to the RPers in game that I may or may not make a future blog post about. If your have a significant other and they do not play Rift, what are some of the hurdles and possible complications that could arise from an in game wedding to someone who is not your significant other? Is it just RP or is there still an emotional attachment to the other character? Are there other concerns on keeping the game and real life seperate?

[the_real_seebs]

Varies a great deal from one person to another. Some people are a lot more compartmentalized from their RP, some less so.

I would say, if you have the sort of relationship with someone where they might get offended if you got married to someone else or had sex with someone else, worth at least MENTIONING it to them; otherwise, even if they might otherwise not mind, they may freak out if they think you were "hiding" it.

Since personal responses to this vary so widely, I'd recommend against guessing.

[Baslisanne]

This is just my two silver, from a long-time roleplayer: You can roleplay a romance story with another player, and be on totally platonic grounds with them. That is actually how I prefer it, actually. You can roleplay a relationship without getting into the nitty-gritty of cybersex - no shade to those who do, of course. There are ways to keep your in character actions and your out of character life separate.

Your character is not you, and as long as you remember that, you should be fine. (But clearly, you should communicate to your IRL partner if you think they'll be fussy about it.)

[Kitaelia]

This is just my two silver, from a long-time roleplayer: You can roleplay a romance story with another player, and be on totally platonic grounds with them. That is actually how I prefer it, actually. You can roleplay a relationship without getting into the nitty-gritty of cybersex - no shade to those who do, of course. There are ways to keep your in character actions and your out of character life separate.

Your character is not you, and as long as you remember that, you should be fine. (But clearly, you should communicate to your IRL partner if you think they'll be fussy about it.)

Exactly this!

Plus it mostly depends on the people in question. Everyone is different and it is good to set ground rules before an RP relationship starts if you have any reservations about feelings going too far out of character. If you have a significant other out of game then it would be wise to be sure they feel okay with you roleplaying a relationship between your character and someone else's so long as it remains strictly platonic OOC.

I have been in roleplay relationships from all points of view out of character. I have developed feelings for some when I was younger and let my feelings merge too closely to my characters.. and I ended up getting heartbroken. and I have had strictly platonic OOC feelings for my RP partners once I mastered keeping RP and OOC separate. I have also had my RP partners develop real feelings for me while my feelings remained platonic.

The most important thing is communication. With your real partner and your RP partners. Strong communication will prevent hurt or uncomfortable feelings.

[Caydin]

Does your significant other get jealous when you romance an NPC in a game like Skyrim or Mass Effect? I see no difference here.

[the_real_seebs]

Does your significant other get jealous when you romance an NPC in a game like Skyrim or Mass Effect? I see no difference here.

I would say that whether or not another person is involved might be an issue to some people.

[Greenmantle]

Does your significant other get jealous when you romance an NPC in a game like Skyrim or Mass Effect? I see no difference here.

Though there are some parts in mass effect2 that could cause problems

you said this game was about shooting aliens why is the blue chick with a squid on her head naked?

[Annalea]

With the announcement of weddings in 1.7, I want to pose an ethical question to the RPers in game that I may or may not make a future blog post about. If your have a significant other and they do not play Rift, what are some of the hurdles and possible complications that could arise from an in game wedding to someone who is not your significant other? Is it just RP or is there still an emotional attachment to the other character? Are there other concerns on keeping the game and real life seperate?

I think an important point is that, for roleplayers, this doesn't necessarily affect how our characters act. Long before weddings were announced, roleplayers were getting married ICly and even holding IC wedding ceremonies. The in-game support (and dresses!) are just fun icing for us to play with and enjoy!

There's a distinction I would like to make between two terms that might not be intuitive to non-roleplayers. A player is the person behind the computer, controlling the text we see. A character is a fictional entity that we're, essentially, authoring a story about in an interactive way. They're two different entities, in a good RP environment, and I'll be covering that a little here!

But first, and sorry to sound hokey, but relationships are very much about communication. For some couples, roleplaying relationships is the kind of thing some don't like at all (as you can tell from posts like http://forums.riftgame.com/rift-gene...e-partner.html). For others, they're absolutely fine with the idea. Some couples may be comfortable with RP relations that include ERP (erotic roleplay). Some are only fine with relationships that only go so far. It's about finding out what your partner is fine with.

At the end of the day, roleplay is a form of entertainment. I believe my characters to be more like characters in a story than extensions of myself. It's natural to get emotionally attached to a character you like - books, movies, TV series are all good examples of this and I believe it extends to roleplay too. I laugh with my characters and I even cry for them. But, just because I'm emotionally attached to my characters, does not mean I necessarily want to pursue a relationship with the players behind the scenes.

Are there other concerns on keeping the game and real life seperate? It's certainly possible to feel attracted towards a player if your characters are particularly close... but if you're using RP to foster interpersonal relationships between players, then... it's not really RP, in my opinion. The dangers of 'falling' for someone are, in my opinion, just as high as any other activity where you work closely with another. I think it is possible that such can happen - however, I'd argue it to be the side effect of two people spending time together, not a product of roleplay or in-game weddings.

I think Baslisanne covered things quite well and a bit more concisely than I. Roleplay is about the characters - who the person on the other side of the computer is should not even be a factor! In-game weddings don't pose any new problems or concerns for roleplayers.